i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
