how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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