they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
