In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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