so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
