so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
