I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
