A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
