check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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