So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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