How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
