Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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