when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
