do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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