ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
