stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
