Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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