In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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