is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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