so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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