he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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