Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
