i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
