Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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