i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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