Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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