He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
