you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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