I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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