please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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