I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
