remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
