So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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