bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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