Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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