the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
