any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
