she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
