You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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