god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
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