evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
