i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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