why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
