If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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