Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
this just has baby written all over it
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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