Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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