I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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