I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
