I love black thongs
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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