id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
