oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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