we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
