what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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