Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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