just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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