When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
