guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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