He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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