I look better un-naked...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
