God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
