so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
