out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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