I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
