I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Randomize
