it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We are two peas in an std pod
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
