I'm drive I can fine osifer
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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