Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
