I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize