I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize