Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
